The "Gay Lifestyle" Myth

Posted Monday, 16 September 2019 23:35
The "Gay Lifestyle" Myth

From: Bermuda Source

Let's dispense with the myth and be honest about what the real issue is here. There is no “Homosexual (or Gay) Lifestyle”

Just recently, I was asked, “do you agree with the homosexual lifestyle”? It was a hot topic of discussion and debate about two weeks ago, following Bermuda’s first ever LBGTQ Pride Parade, which attracted thousands of participants from Bermuda and overseas; but the term, homosexual lifestyle has existed as an actual thing for years.

As a former professing Christian, I found the phrase, gay lifestyle, to be quite effective in that it provided its own unique category for which to classify and thus, isolate one segment of the community, based on a pattern of life that was “sinful”. Here are some quotes from Christians who use the term, gay lifestyle:

‘Hillsong Church welcomes ALL people but does not affirm all lifestyles. Put clearly, we do not affirm a gay lifestyle and because of this we do not knowingly have actively gay people in positions of leadership, either paid or unpaid.’

"If I believe the Bible, then I don’t believe that a gay lifestyle or a homosexual lifestyle is the right way to choose to live. I believe that there’s something so much better".

"…signs of the last days……living a lifestyle of gay and lesbian……you are already a walking dead, fueling the logs in hell where you will eventually end up…..because you already know the truth and the truth should have set you free, not add onto your problems"!!

But does the term homosexual (or gay) lifestyle truly exist as a pattern of life that one segment of the population lives, as opposed to the typical lifestyle of everyone else? This question only recently streamed through my conscious, which led me to examine it for the first time.

I finally realized that the term, gay lifestyle, exists merely as a phrase; but there is no pattern of existence unique to the gay community, so as to foist upon them the stigma of having an alternate (and sinful) lifestyle. In other words, gay lifestyle is merely a word phrase. The corresponding pattern (or system) of what that word phrase is supposed to represent does not exist.

Here’s why

A good working definition of the word, Lifestyle is as follows:

“The habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group”.

Habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards and economic levels. These things combined constitute the mode, (which is the manner of acting or doing in life) which applies either to an individual or group. Granted that not everyone imbibes these concepts fully and completely to the same degree; but in a small society such as Bermuda, the more civil members of our culture are fairly uniform in the practice of these specific concepts.

In other words, the majority are normally law-abiding, hard-working, responsible, people who run businesses, raise children, earn a living, attend school, have disagreements, attend social gatherings, sporting events, go to Church, travel, engage in sexual activity, eat, sleep, gather with family, mourn the loss of loved ones, exercise, start relationships, end relationships, etc.…

These things all constitute what one calls a lifestyle. We all know that straight people engage in these lifestyle concepts every day. Some manage them better than others; but apart from these, what do the gay community practice that identifies an entirely different mode of living, which separates them unfavorably from everyone else?

If a non-gay man sat down to dinner at a restaurant with a woman, and a gay couple walk in and sit down to dinner, what difference is there in what both couples are doing? I do not refer to the gender make-up of the two couples. That distinction is obvious. The question is, what is the difference in the current lifestyle activity?

The same question can apply to a gay or non-gay individual or group, according to the definition of lifestyle. The answer is that there is not one identifiable marker that makes the lifestyle of gays different than that of the non-gay community.

How others interpret lifestyle pursuits is a matter of personal perception, based on varying levels of awareness. But a different lifestyle dynamic is not in play and is therefore not applicable, unless one is willing to engage in intellectual dishonesty.

So, what exactly then, is the 800lbs gorilla in the room? What is the truth of the matter that may be purposely avoided?

The fact is that it is not an issue of lifestyle. It never was. That term was invented perhaps to cover a sincere and deeply rooted loathing and/or disgust that many people harbor about the sexual practices of the gay community, which is typified quite obviously by sexual activity between two people of the same sex. Some people find that repulsive – especially members of the Christian community, who would prefer to identify a non-existent gay lifestyle as the problem, when their real issue is gay sex.

This is the heart of the matter. If the issue was truly that the gay community live an alternate lifestyle, then by implication, (according to religious doctrine) the lifestyle must be sinful; and if the lifestyles of the gay community and the heterosexual community were found to be essentially the same, (and they are) then the unpleasantness many people feel for the sexual activity within the gay community, is more to the point.

The Church (and even many non-Christians) refuse to admit this. It has little to do with gay marriages or even relationships. Both concepts are still relatively new to our society; but even in these things, Christians  sin repeatedly by disobeying the guidelines established by “God” to govern marriage and relationships. Hook ups and break ups within the church are essentially the same trend as outside the Church – gay or straight.

If gay sex is truly what Christians refuse to identify as the root sin, then it should be no wonder why they also choose to ignore, overlook or cover the rampant fornication, divorce, adultery and even gay sexual activity among their own brethren. Sinful sex is a broad term, which swallows up the sinner as well as the saint.

Although perhaps not the original intent, the gay lifestyle motif works quite effectively to narrow the focus on a specific people group. This deflects attention away from the sinful sexual practices, which also ensnares  those within the religious community. If gay sex is truly the issue, then all sex, which is considered sinful, should be the issue. But to focus on the real issue will surely tread harshly on the wrong toes.

So, just as there is no difference in the lifestyle of the gay and non-gay communities, sadly, there appears to be little difference in the lifestyle of the spiritual and secular communities as well. If anyone will fight the good fight to establish what they believe is a superior system of morality, then there at least should be full disclosure and complete honesty about what or who the real enemy is. No deflections, denial or scapegoat tactics. You may just begin to develop a genuine respect for people as they are.






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